Sunday, 11 July 2010

The Start of the End ! Sunday 11th July 2010

Today i Left my Home as i am for the last time (hopefully)  i got up at 5 45  having gone to bed at about 3am  i really can not sleep  why? well i wonder today sunday i am leaving home to travel to Brighton om monday to start the rest of my life .

As a Trans woman  this is going to be the most important journey of my life the one that takes me to the Hospital were i will become the person i KNOW i have been all my life.

How do i explain this to some one who isnt a Trans person ..... well i carnt  i can not find  words that explain to any one who has not been through this horrid type of life it really is so difficult . Just like saying good buy to may baby daughter this morning ...... we ll i say baby  shes 15 but to me  shes still the 4lb baby i help in my arms 15 years ago . she understands me and is a sort of soul mate (not in a bad way ) we understand each other so well . i dont need to explain to her how i feel  and  that makes it hard to explain to you  the reader .

I am not at all nervous of the op its self  but i am S***t scaired  the op coul dbe cancled  does that sound daft ?

You see it was cancled  last December 09 when i saw a sergeon in Leicester and one on the trans path will know who i mean .......... Hmmmmm

its taken me 9 years to get here oh and a 5 hour drive from the North of thr UK . will be here for one night  and then into Hospital tommorow  for mid day from then on the day is a mistery to me but i will let you know  what happens .. it shouldnt be as i did get a full list of thing that happen from day to day but i missed placed it so ......... it will all be a supprise

so today we left west yourkshire about 12 30  and called on my friend and partner in Rotherham stayed an hour or so  and set off on the 250 mile trip to Hampshire  we called in Harpenden to see another  internet friend  as well had a cuppa   we got to hampshire after 2 quite bad car crashes on the M1 one of them we had to do over 20 miles at an average speed of 8 MPH  oh boy what a mess  the car was in ,,,,

so tommorow i need to call at my friends Doctor as i have forgotne my insulin stuff i took it out of my bag put it on the bed and my daughter thinking she was helping loaded my case in to the car with out my insulin and needles  got enough for today but not for the 2 to 3 weeks im to be here

so that will be the start of mondays blog


  1. So glad that you have finally go there after all your troubles.

    I quite understand the fear of cancellation but no fear for the process which will finally make you whole. The waiting is the hardest time, time just wasted and filled with anxiety such as will it be cancelled!

    Wishing you luck.

    Caroline xxx

  2. I am so looking forward to seeing you when you get back.